Do me a favor and imagine this: you are a young flowering tomato plant, flexible and flourishing. Your leaves are broad, your vine is strong and tall, and your supple yellow flowers are plump, just dying be pollinated. But what can a poor, lonely tomato plant do without a bee to get the job done? Using a vibrator. I bet life as a tomato plant doesn’t look so bad now!
Pollen is the sperm of plants, and bees and plants have developed complex sexual surrogacy during their millions of years of evolution together. Some plants attract pollinators with a nectar cocktail, then throw pollen at them in exchange for free drinks. Some have floral parts that are only accessible with a long tongue. And some plants need to be stimulated before they release their pollen load.
Buzz-pollinated flowers wait for a bee to arrive and vibrate at the right frequency, in the right place, and bang! The pollen comes out in a vomit. Potatoes, tomatoes, eggplants and peppers; Pumpkins, Zucchini, Blueberries, and Cranberries: These food plants are examples of crops that require buzz pollination.
Although, uh, apparently using your girlfriend’s vibrator can work wonders on a tomato plant (chill, bro) plant vibes like the VegiBee are specially designed to mimic a buzzing bee (29,000 to 44,000 vibrations per minute – calm down!) and come with a spoon to collect the pollen when released. And for $ 49.99! I need a cold shower.