goop MRKT Austin appears at Southern Congress: Gwyneth Paltrow household items, vibrators available through April – Design

photo by Sarah Marloff

Be careful, Hello Fans. Gwyneth Paltrow and Co. brought their wares – yoni eggs and everything – into town. From Friday March 1 (just in time for the South By Southwest wave) to Sunday April 28 goop MRKT Austin will appear in Southern Congress and sell everything from housewares to sexual health supplies.

Although largely heterosexualized, shoppers can choose from Frenchman, Millionaire, Tennis Coach, or Fireman “Smile Maker” vibrators. Too daring? Be more discreet with a vibrator necklace. Unfortunately, I did not measure the length of the chain, so the verdict fell on whether you should remove the collar to use it. Meanwhile, the infamous goop jade egg may have been removed from its inventory, but crystal eggs abound to “harness the power of energy work, crystal healing, and physical type practice. Kegel ”. It is recommended to burn sage around the egg to “clear the energy”. A smudge on your … yoni …, if you will. Not a sage fan like me? Don’t worry, you can recharge your Kegel crystals in the light of a full moon.

photo by Sarah Marloff

Don’t have time for that morning coffee? goop has you covered there too, thanks to its special brand of soft chews. Nerd Alert provides a surge of caffeine, while Perfect Attendance guarantees immune support – and tastes like a blackberry star. Knock Me Out, which they didn’t taste, is a bite of chocolate melatonin to promote beauty rest.

Of course, the goop isn’t really about selling one-offs or vag eggs – it’s about selling Paltrow’s well-marketed lifestyle. In fact, his face shines in many books on how to achieve goop perfection, mostly in the form of cookbooks. From premium yoga mats and foam rollers to all natural deodorants, body oils and beauty products, the store is divided into four neatly organized Instagrammable sections perfect for all your #selfcare and social media needs. .

While we haven’t received the calendar yet, goop affiliates tell us that the popup space will also be hosting events over the next couple of months. We can only hope the color therapist sticks around, but we can’t be sure. Find goop MRKT Austin at 1204 South Congress until April 28.

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